The funeral of Tony Husband was held on Tuesday 14th November.
More than 1500 people turned out to pay their respects to a much-loved man,who did so much for people living with dementia.
A lot has been written about Tony in the last few weeks, and rightly so. His contribution was enormous.
I’d like to take this opportunity to say a few things about Tony, and how his work touched the lives of Dementia Diarists.
The first time many Diarists came into contact with Tony was through his involvement with the IDEAL project at Exeter University. Tony, together with poet Ian McMillan and photographer Ian Beesley, worked with many diarists through their respective DEEP groups to produce banners portraying a different way of looking at dementia. Tony’s cartoons formed an important part of these banners, reflecting the stories and experiences that people with dementia shared with him.
In this diary, Wendy describes her involvement in the early days of the project.
You can see some of the banners that people with dementia created with help from Tony and the Ian’s here:
https://clok.uclan.ac.uk/23352/1/The%20Dementia%20Banners.pdf
……and here’s a cartoon Tony drew after hearing people’s experiences of the difficulties they encountered whilst out and about.
People loved working with Tony. He was attentive, kind, and generous to a fault. He had the ability to make people feel like they were the most important person in the room.
Tony listened to people with dementia, and not just listened, but took on board what they said.
On one occasion, the Dementia Diarists ZOOM group had a reservation about one piece of wording on one of Tony’s cartoons about dementia. I took this to Tony, and he simply changed it, without hesitation. Not a hint of preciousness, nor of defensiveness, he just listened to what people with dementia had to say.
Another piece of work that Diarists were involved with was “Let’s Talk About Death Shall We?
People with dementia, worked with Tony and psychologist Polly Kaiser on a booklet to encourage people to talk about their death.
You can download the booklet here: https://www.dementiavoices.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/6707-Dementia-end-of-life-leaflet-Cartoons-FINAL.pdf
Diarists that took part included Jacqui Bingham, who spent much of her working life as a funeral director, and Dory.
Having had the opportunity to really think about her own death, with the support of Tony and Polly and her peers with dementia, Dory recorded this diary:
A little while after the project, Dory received something in the post that captured her feelings and wishes about her own death.
Here’s the diary https://dementiadiaries.org/entry/16763/tony-husband-has-crafted-a-lovely-poem-about-dorys-dying-wishes-this-is-simply-beautiful/?highlight=death
….and here’s the cartoon.
What a perfect illustration of the kindness and generosity that was so characteristic of Tony, and which touched the lives of so many people affected by dementia.
His work did so much to humanise the experience of dementia, often communicating with a few lines from his pen something which we’d struggle to communicate in mere words. His work made people think differently about dementia, made people more aware, less afraid, and less alone.
Thank you Tony for everything you did, and for everything that you were.
Cheers Mate x
